Sally Forth and get funky. Rex Morgan M.D. funky. Toot Toot. Open wide. The Update Train is a-coming! Marshmallows, Pixies, and Jug Bands all a-mingling together. |
2003-05-28 - 1:04 p.m. Mr. Peanut don't play. Bonjour my darling invisibles. For those of you who have bitten your nails down to the quick* in anticipation of my next entry, here it is. So take your fingers out of your mouths! Wipe off the saliva! The Fanged Faerie is back and her pockets are a-jingle janglin' with observations (and third person references). *Triple snaps for weird "quick" usage. Said weirdness forced me to bring out the dictionary and even now I want to spell it "kwik". "Kwik" is just a better word. It's goofier and ganglier with more visual pizzazz**. But I have to understand that one cannot take the rules of language lightly. Perhaps that spelling would be acceptable in some backwards social circles, where I could write freely of my "kwik" while sipping boxed wine from a giant Hardees Moose cup. But not here. Not on my watch. **Poor Pizzazz. It can never be part of the Scrabble Word Gang. There just aren't enough z's. Moving forward. I was going to start this entry off with some happy comments about the sun, and how wonderful it was to see the sun after almost twenty six days of rain. But in the short time since I began this entry the sun has exited stage left and the rain has reclaimed her reign. Reigning raining rain. Sheesh. This is the wettest season on record for Virginia in something like one hundred years, and last season was the driest. Both the wettest and the driest seasons taking place consecutively? It's a doom-filled conga line that makes the panic-bird in my chest flutter her wings. I'm not Queen Negativity or anything but this does not seem normal. Ibid for snow in April. Mother Nature is shouting our names at the top of her lungs and we are too busy maneuvering our Hummers through rush-hour traffic to notice. Speaking of which, what in the name of the Baby Jesus is up with all of these Hummer-driving lunatics? What IS this emerging phenomenon? Are we TRYING to make other countries laugh at us? Seriously folks, if you are searching for a place to parallel park your Hummer, you have got a problem. Even if you "gots" an acre or two of land, I don't want to hear it. Unless "on your way to work" involves cannibalistic pygmies and thick jungle underbrush, your Hummer makes you a dickhead. Enough said. It would be different if there was no illusion of being "grown-up". Then we'd all recognize that life is just a giant game of "Let's Pretend" and we could satisfy our thirst for Tonka trucks without taking ourselves too seriously. Hummers would be the silly objects that they are. Fire trucks and dump trucks would share the road with dune buggies and dirt bikes in Big Wheel fashion. Giant roller skates would make room for giant rolling hamster balls. There would even be a hippity-hop lane for bouncy pedestrians. It would be a harmonious melting pot of childhood whimsy, a veritable slice of Heaven. I'd personally want an ice-cream truck. Kickass dancing creamsicles AND blaring twisted carnival music? Oh Hell yes. Please Sir, can I have some more? With jimmies. COLD AS ICE: So tonight I yoga. Bend-tastic! I just bought my own personal yoga mat to avoid OPS (Other People's Sweat), and while I am a happy little consumer my new mat is causing me a great deal of annoyance. New yoga mats are not quite sticky enough, and if you happen to perspire by the bucketload like my feminine little self, you will be a-slippin' and a-slidin' all over the place. This makes for a very interesting practice as I not only have to contend with my slippery mat, I have to deal with ensuing middle-school feelings of dorkdom. Perhaps tonight I will embrace the dork and I will go as my sixth-grade self. Does anyone know where I can find some neon-pink jam shorts and a t-shirt with shoulder pads? Thanks! LYLAS! Alright my beauties, this is where I jump ship. I will try and update more frequently because I love and care about each and every one of you. Coming Next Week: Why dapper Mr. Peanut dresses for success. Fare thee well until next time. -The Fanged Faerie is a fan of hypercolor.
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